IT TAKES A YEAR…
365 days -- the time it takes planet earth to complete a single revolution around the sun, creating the seasons, changing the landscape, marking the days of our lives.
In the grieving process, 365 days marks something else, too; the first anniversary of a loved one’s passing. Each of those days is significant in the new journey we face -- the ride around the sun without our loved one.
Early on, we are enveloped in the newness of our loss, the numbing sadness and heartache that knock our feet out from under us. We go through the ceremonies and rites in a haze, relying on others when our own strength fails. It doesn’t seem real.
Over the next weeks and months, grief carries us on a roller-coaster ride of emotional ups and downs. Our crying jags abate…until the calendar marks his birthday…or an anniversary…or the day you met. And you fall to pieces.
Even as the day-to-day gets easier, the loss seems ever present. Her clothes in the closet. The smell of his aftershave on someone you pass on the street. Picking up the phone to share the latest gossip, then realizing your bestie is not there to answer.
Holidays roll around with all the memories and traditions they hold. Who will carve the turkey? The table is less crowded and all the sadder for that. You find yourself laughing, caught up in happy memories…then sobbing, caught up in feelings of loss and the unfairness of it all.
Yet…as that first anniversary of your loved one’s passing nears, your perspective has changed. It’s softened around the edges. You don’t cry every time you talk about her. You’ve decided to go on that trip the two of you always planned on and never got around to taking. And, while the pain remains, it’s not as sharp. The ache dulls, acceptance replaces disbelief.
The seasons have come and gone, the landscape has certainly changed. You miss them so. But it will be okay. You’ve made it through that first year.
Maybe this is the time you are ready to have a special piece of jewelry or keepsake made in their honor, something that makes you smile, thinking of them every time you wear it.